Does it mean I'm lonely when I'm alone?
by True Thinker
Summary: The Animal. Also known as Chris Barker. He acts like a dog. The way he treats us is inhuman. But I don't show emotion. Or rather I can't. I've never had a real friend. Blood is always blinding me. But not anymore... I'm stuck in this strange place and I think... I have finally found some people... I can call... friends... (lol! :D for once I feel serious! get me to 3 review, yeah?)


I opened my eyes and saw red, by now I was used to it the only thing that I still wasn't used to, even after all these years was the yelling, the screaming, the crying, the feeling of abandonment. I knew I would never escape from it, not for years to come, I could only put it aside at school and pretend I just walk into a lamppost each and every morning. No one can know, not after that time when I thought I had made a friend and she had betrayed me.

I had been about six at the time, dad was almost never around and mum was busy with the new baby, and they never paid me any attention, I had no friends and I was bullied constantly. Thoes children where sad, but they needed to find someone who had a more unhappy life so that they would know that they were better off than someone else, but what they did to me wasn't bullying - it was torture. They called me names at first, then it was verbal abuse I was about four but I knew what they said was cruel and insulting. Then about a year later thoes kids learned how to punch and kick - I never said a word, but she did. She tried to stop them. She stuck up for me. Her name was Elisa. I was relieved from my pain so much more after that, I felt like I could tell her anything, and I did. One day, I had found a small puppy that looked alone and abandoned, like I had before Elisa had come to me, I felt like I could relate to him. I came everyday after school and fed him scraps from the table at breakfast, this went on for about 3 weeks and about 4 days before I turned 6 I went up to Elisa and told her about the puppy.

"EH?! YOU HAVE A DOG?!" I covered her mouth.

"Shh! You can't tell anyone! If _they_ found out-" I tossed a dirty glance at the small group of boys in the corner, "-they would hunt him... _and kill him!_" She smiled at me.

"NO! I would never let that happen, we're best friends! Right?" She took my hands in hers and smiled, closing her eyes. I returned the smile.

"Can I see him?"

"Sure!"

"AWW! He's SO cute!"

"Remember, this HAS to stay a secret!"

"Would I ever forget?" That smile, the same smile that had made us friends, I felt like I could trust this girl, that I was secure and safe at last...

...

That is until my birthday.

...

I entered the room and was immediately pinned to the wall by 2 boys that looked twice my height, weight and age! Their leader who had done most of the abuse to me over the years sneered at me. I looked at him giving him an emotionless glare.

"What do you want from me?"

"I want to see you down on your knees begging like a dog!"

I blinked slowly.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I have your dog! Fitting birthday present don'cha think?!" He held up the poor helpless puppy. My eyes widened as I because to struggle furiously.

"No! NO! Let him go! LET HIM GO!" I was crying now, "You want me! Not that helpless creature! LET HIM GOOOOO!" He held up a broken glass bottle and turned to the boy beside him.

"How many hits do you think it will take?"

"Stop!" Elisa ran in. "Don't!"

"Why? You were the one who told us about him!" I looked at Elisa horrified. The boy held up the broken bottle and brought it down.

"NO!"

All that I can remember happened next was that there was alot of blood, 4 unconscious boys, and 1 unconscious girl, and that I finally realised that emotion for anyone would be meaningless.

I cant remember walking home, but I remember opening the door and seeing mum on the floor crying and 8 month old Sara wailing on the floor, covered in muck.

"Swee- sweetheart?", mum looked up, "Darling, papa might not come home today, or ever" She started crying harder.

"Did he die in an accident in London, or something?" Mum stood up and slapped me.

"That's not how you will speak about your deceased father!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't show emotion anymore", Mum saw the look in my eye and know that I was telling the truth.

...

I think The Animal moved in when I started high school, I don't know why mum fell for him, but he was worse than the bullying I went through as a child. He would hit us for no reason if he was in a bad mood and if we were the ones to make him angry we would sometime's have to call an ambulance and make up some stupid excuse about tripping down the stairs. I seem to anger him most because I cant show emotion anymore, ever since that day, and he feels like his hits aren't effecting me. Mum cant get away from him, it's like we're his possesions, his property. The only time we feel partially free from Chris the b****** is when he is off selling drugs or off drinking or doing other stuff that thugs do now-a-days.

One of those times I was sitting on the couch with one arm wrapped round Sara's shoulders watching some trashy Nickelodian cartoon on the TV. Actually for a cartoon it wasn't so bad... So for once I let my guard down and started to stare at the screen. That was the biggest mistake of my life. Chris walked in through the door, seems like he was in a bad mood because he lost a lot of money at the Horse racing betting, and seeing us 'slacking off' just made him madder. Sara being ten now, knew to run whenever Chris came home in a bad mood, I would stand my ground and stand in Chris' way to try and stall him so that Sara had time to hide in a cupboard or something.

"Why were you slacking off?" He smelled of beer. I stepped back.

"You reek!"

"Your whole being reeks!" He held up a bottle. My memory flashes back to the puppy's limp body, the boy's cruel laughter, and the blood, so much blood. Chris bring the bottle down and blood blinds my vision once more, I hear footsteps and then I hear mum's voice scream and start yelling at chris as she tells Sara to call an ambulance. I heard, "My children...Last time...Its over!" while the TV blares on in the back ground, something about Omashoo or something like that...

**2 and a half pages! WOOHOOO! Well, I'm not sure which book I should put this in... maybe I'll set the next couple of chapter in book one and then start a new story for book two, yah? ^.^**

**The thinker is out!**


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